LifeAfter75.com

It’s been a really long time since I last posted anything, and I have to say I had doubts about even bothering to do it. But, you know, I actually miss writing on this site and hoping that you will read it and feel better for having read it.

The last time I wrote here it was to say that all of my children had had a medical event but that they were all recovering nicely, and we were all moving forward. Well, that is all true. I am thrilled that my children and their families are all healthy and doing well. My grandchildren and my great grandchild, Leo, are also doing well. Isn’t that an awesome thing to be able to say? My family is good, and I hope that yours is too.

In July, my sweetheart died. He had been ill for a short time, and I was blessed to be with him and hold his hand and talk to him for the last few days of his time on this earth. At his Celebration of Life, I got to meet several of the fellows he talked about a lot. It was a special thing.

And then the grieving started. For a good while I just wanted to be able to touch his face or hold his hand, hear his deep gravelly voice, listen as he sang to me each morning. I wanted somehow to reverse the truth and have him here with me just for one more time, you know?

But with time, that need has given way to peace, and a smile when I see his picture or remember a sweet time we spent together. Those short two and a half years were a blessing to me and while I can wish I had more time with him, I can also be grateful for the time I was given.

So, just for today, for right this moment, I hope that if you are also grieving for someone, that you will find a little peace, a little joy in the time you were blessed to have with that person.

Hello again. It’s been a long time since I was here and I am glad to be back. 2023 and the first part of 2024 have been rife with family illness and lots of anxiety.

All four of my beloved children have had major health issues during this long period but I am glad and relieved to say that all are now healthy and we are all back on track.

You have probably faced just such an event in your family as well. And you know firsthand how worrisome and anxiety producing it can be to first be contacted by one of your children or their spouse that your adult child is ill. It matters not at all how old that adult child may be, he or she is still your baby. And you know how frightening it is to consider that he or she may not survive, be permanently disabled, or a whole host of other worries that we as parents can think of in our minds.

Life is unpredictable for sure. And I know that I certainly never considered when my children were small that there would ever be a day when I was sitting in the emergency room or surgery waiting room waiting for news on my adult child’s health. I expect most of us never do consider that event do we? We are busy making over the new baby, preparing a room for him or her, giving them the best care we can as they begin to grow, We jump from baby to toddler to pre-school to grade school and on and on. Before we know it time has passed by so quickly and our child is off to college or getting married and soon having babies of their own. Should we have told them of what was to come? Probably not.

Each one of us learns as we walk through life and having the knowledge too soon, I think, might prevent us from living in the here and now and embracing all the joy, as well as all the pain life brings. So, in reality I suppose living in the present moment is the very best place for us to live, right?

Let’s allow ourselves to enjoy the here and now, face the unexpected and sometimes the pain that comes with living and embrace the moment. For that’s what life is-a moment in time. Happy Spring everyone!

Hello, again. It’s been quite a while since I posted anything to this blog but it’s August soon – like tomorrow – and I am getting packed to move to a new state and a new city. It’s exhausting to pack up all my belongings and I am not very motivated truth be told.

But I am down to the final two weeks before the big move date – August 12th – so wherever that motivation comes from I am hoping it comes soon.

Have you ever packed up to move and found yourself looking around and wondering what to take and what to leave behind? Sometimes, it’s not just about the physical things you own but also about relationships, jobs, that sense of belonging where you are and more.

I have never felt truly connected to this city or this place and I have been here for three years. I moved here to be close to my daughter during Covid and now she and her husband have moved away so it’s time for me to go.

What will I leave behind besides an iron bed frame and a sidewalk edger? The job I’ve had since 2021 at the landscape/nursery where I have worked for three summers. I have enjoyed that job and the people I have gotten to work with. The two couples that own the business have become friends and I will miss them all. The joy of working with plants and digging in the dirt has given me so much peace and I have to say it’s been the best retirement job I have ever had.

Am I leaving behind any relationships? No, I don’t think so. I’ll only be an hour away from my friends at the nursery so we will stay in touch and get together now and then. My relationship with my Barbarian will travel with me and will still be a very active part of my new life. What’s a Barbarian you ask? Well, he’s a special man who came into my life in 2021 and he’s the most honest, kind, generous, loving, giving, tolerant man I have ever known. He calls himself a Barbarian and so do I now with love and respect.

Some things, some relationships are worth taking and some should be left behind as you enter a new chapter. Be kind to yourself and take what’s important and meaningful and leave behind the rest. And get packing!

I want to share with you some of the most important people in my life by adding pictures. I haven’t tried this before so it will be a learning experience and trial and error process. So, here goes.

Here’s my best friend from childhood, Dale. Dale and I were best buds for as long as I can remember. Dale was bright, smart, patient, kind and a whiz when it came to small engines. He never got to go to school as he was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy at a very young age and back then children were not mainstreamed but rather kept at home.

That didn’t stop Dale from being an active part of our neighborhood. He would meet me at the bus stop every morning and every afternoon. In the summer we played softball on the vacant lot, made towns and homes in the sandbox, and often we tried to help Dale learn to walk alongside our house and the adjacent fence. We didn’t know he would never walk, but he was game for anything we (the neighbor kids) wanted to try.

It wasn’t until my sweet friend passed away in 2015 that I realized what a gift he was to me. He never failed to be there for me even when we didn’t see each other for years. When we reconnected after I had gone out into the world to seek my fortune, he was always waiting and ready to give of himself, always a patient, loving friend. I know I didn’t give him nearly as much as he gave me; the blessings are too numerous to count. But I know now and will always know that he was a sweet gift; a gift I needed and a gift precious beyond words.

I hope your new year is moving along splendidly. I regret I was not able to celebrate with you. For some reason unbeknownst to me my website quit responding and I have been frustrated and despondent that I could not figure out and fix the issue.

But for whatever reason today it is working, and I am thankful and thrilled.

So, how did you spend the week between Christmas and the New Year? For some of us it’s a time to recap the past year and set new goals for the incoming year. That would be me. That week has always been my favorite time since being an adult, which by the way is a really long time. (LOL)

I spent the week sorting through old file folders, drawers, cabinets and even clothing. My mantra has always been if you haven’t used it/worn it in the past year it’s time for it to go. By the way, have you checked the expiration date on your spices? It’s a good idea and you may be surprised.

Now, I will say that with clothing I am a bit more conservative because in this past year I have gained at least ten pounds and that surely has caused my clothes to fit differently. And not in a way I would like either. So, one goal for the new year is to be more active and eat better and of course drink more water in hopes of losing those extra pounds.

But for the other things such as old file folders I have been relentlessly discarding old newspaper clippings, old recipes that I can no longer make due to Celiac, old memories from past relationships, not the pictures though. Pictures I keep for eternity. Or maybe until I take the time to scan them into the computer and then consider discarding the original picture.

For now, it’s back to shredding and sorting and walking and drinking water.

See you next time.

Are you ready? We’ve only got two weeks until the big day. Yes, for some of us it’s the family Christmas celebrations and for others it’s about the birth of Christ. Or maybe in your family it’s about both.

For me it’s both. I love this time of year when we celebrate the birth of Christ. The music, the church services, the beautiful creches and light displays that give this season it’s beauty and joy.

And then there’s the annual Yuletide Celebration at the Indianapolis Symphony. Members of my family have been attending this event for at least 27 years. It’s always the beginning of the Christmas season for us. It’s become a tradition that excites us and brings the joy of the season close. My daughter, Susan’s favorite part is the dancing Santas. And I love the retelling of the Night Before Christmas story. And of course, there’s always the pictures by the magnificent Christmas tree in the lobby.

And if you live in Indianapolis or are close by, don’t miss the Festival of Trees at the Indianapolis Historical Society. It’s a beautiful event with so many decorated trees for you to view and decide on your favorite. You even get to vote for your top three. It’s magical.

But if you are like me, you are obsessing over how to afford presents, what to buy for whom, will they like the gift and oh so many other crazy thoughts that run rampant through your mind this time of year.

For me it’s about affording to buy gifts and what to buy. Actually, I usually end up giving the grandchildren money. I am horrible at gift giving and I obsess over it until I actually hate the thought of it. And when money is scarce it’s worse. This is one of those years. So, after many hours of obsessing and worrying and beating myself up for not being financially able to buy gifts or give money, I had an epiphany in the middle of the night. I’m making a gift for the grandchildren and I’m throwing doubts and fears to the wind and giving with my whole heart. I’m excited about what I am making. And I’m hopeful that the kids will be excited too.

So, counting down, let’s get going to enjoying the season and enjoying being with our loved ones and celebrating the birth of Christ on that special day we call Christmas.

I hope your day will be joyful and full of love and laughter and hope for a New Year.

Relationships are never easy at any age but as we grow older and try to enter into new relationships there are often more challenges.

We sometimes find that the new person brings expectations and shall we say ‘baggage’ from other relationships. And actually, so do we. Whether all those expectations and baggage can meld well together is the question, isn’t it? And is it right for me?

I’ve been in a relationship for the past year and have found that my approach this time around helped to ease a lot of the expectations – I just didn’t really have any- and my old baggage didn’t seem so important anymore. It’s been a real treat.

Tim challenged me to try new things and step outside my comfort zone. The latest challenge was riding behind him on a Sea doo. I don’t swim and have been afraid of deep water since I nearly drowned as a child at the local YMCA one summer during free swim lessons. So, riding on a Sea doo was a huge deal for me. I had a life jacket on and figured at least if I ended up in the water I would float. Tim was great and drove it conservatively so that I can actually say I kind of enjoyed it. Of course, it’s a one and done new thing.

Tim has been thoughtful and kind and generous and humorous and all the good adjectives you could list. The year has gone by quickly and for the most part been fun.

But as all relationships do, we have had a few disagreements and one in particular has caused the demise of this adventure. That particular disagreement has to do with alcohol. I am no prude and I have no issue with having a few drinks or even with feeling really good and perhaps being a bit silly. But when drinking causes the person not to know where they are, what they are doing, and have no memory of what took place while inebriated, well, that’s going too far. And to add insult to injury the person blames you for what happened. That is way too far down the rabbit hole for me.

As much as I enjoyed being in relationship with Tim and no matter how much I learned to care for him, I am unwilling to stretch my personal boundaries to take that on long term.

Maybe, you’ve been in similar situations, maybe not the same issue but you’ve had to ask yourself if this is something you can live with, be happy with, want to do. Take a moment, relax and think it all through. You get to decide if the relationship is right for you, expectations, baggage and all.

I’ve decided to sit and rest for a while. Time will help to crystalize for me where I am now and where and what I would like to be/do next.

It’s been a while since I lasted posted anything but I want to wish all of you, friends, family, readers, everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.

Have you ever made a foolish decision and then paid the consequences? Sure, we all have done that, right? Most lately I made a very silly decision at work.

I work part-time at a nursery and was asked to paint the wood in the ten foot greenhouse before it was closed for the winter. The wood I needed to paint was faced by a concrete table running the length of the area I needed to paint so I decided I needed to sit on the table to be close enough to paint the wood.

Sounds logical, right? Well, perhaps. I looked around for something to sit on as the table would put me so high that I would need to bend over continuously to complete the task. I found a nursery stock hard plastic container that I reasoned would surely work as a seat. Climbed up on the table, sat down on the container, and with paint brush in hand reached forward to start the job.

I am sure you know what happened next. The container collapsed and since my knees were higher than my seat, backwards I went. It was not pretty. And it is very painful.

Among the many bumps and bruises are the gashes on each shin and the deep bruising and swelling that resulted. It’s been two weeks and it is still quite painful to touch my shins. Who can know how long it will take for my legs to completely heal, the swelling to subside and the pain to be gone?

The moral of the story is at over 75 or at any age, stop first and consider the work to be done, the possible tools needed, ask others around you, and make an informed decision before you start. I was foolish and I hope you will be much wiser than I have been.

I have just launched this blog. It’s really out there for everyone to view, to read, to comment, to enjoy.

We are in one of my favorite seasons, Fall. It’s a beautiful time with the changing colors of the leaves, the rustle of dry leaves as you walk through them, the smell of backyard fire pits, and of course making s’mores.

Lately, I have been sharing the evening fire and making s’mores with Tim. He’s always got a fire and all the ingredients for s’mores ready to enjoy. There’s nothing better than sitting on his deck in the swing, listening to the wood pop and crackle as it burns, and watching the sun set and the stars twinkle. And maybe a nice cup of hot tea to enjoy.

Fall brings other fun things as well. There are perennials to plant before the ground freezes, mums to grace your front porch or deck with beautiful color, sweaters and jackets to cozy up in, trails to walk, and your favorite furry friend to walk with you. My daughter’s dog, Charlie is always ready for a walk and a sniff. Hes a soft-coated Wheaten Terrier and a bundle of joy. Every time he sees you it’s just like the first time. I love it!

The sun is starting to set, the evening glow is brilliant right at this moment. I believe it’s time to start that fire and sit for a while and enjoy nature’s gift. How about you?